Period

Period times call for period measures. Chocolate chocalate chips candy chocolate chocolate maggie curry and egg and finish with chocolate.

DEhydration

First time ever I have experience a 'real' dehydration, a 5-8% decrease in body water, causing fatigue and had no any sort of energy to go to work. I will never ever overestimate myself, no half marathon in a fever, must rest enough before and after any runs, and plenty of water after.

The doc has given me 2 days of MC, plus the EL I took yesterday, hopefully I will be fully functional by Friday. : )

Now, what's for dinner? (not porridge)

When September Ends

我也不懂接下来荷包空空的十月要怎么走。后天去退掉健身房会员，明天去退掉公司的停车位，早午餐自己准备，少喝咖啡吃甜点，躲在家不出外就是了吧？30岁人还没办法管理好自己的财务状况，是一种失败。

1.打第二份工来帮补开销，2.回家-至少可以剩下房子的租金和车子的贷款和一切开销，3.好像没有三了，难道要向银行贷款？

阿弥陀佛，大房给我租出去，帮补帮补好不好！

八月

这个八月给我的感觉，是一种忙绿和不安。忙绿是因满满的工作行程而感觉害怕，怕因为急迫而不够完美，怕透不过气。不安也是因为工作上对自己的不肯定和对公司与同事的不认同，而对明天失去了安全感。

唯一能安慰自己的便是那张八月尾回家的机票！望着张机票来熬过八月，应该还可以吧？

Thirty

Seems like a big new number for me, yet I am not so sure what to expect to be a 30 year old, more responsibilities at work and life maybe? 

Anyway, Happy 30th Birthday to myself! 

Note to self, is to find my own happiness, never expect or rely on anyone else, near or far.

A.Manager

So what happened was, I applied for the Assistant Manager post in my department (Yes I know, not a direct promotion but a new application, weirdly speaking but that's the system) and fortunately I have got through the interview, earning myself a promotion from Senior Executive to Assistant Manager for the domestic market. I have not forgotten, 2-3 years ago back in my previous company, there is this future objective thing that I've written in my appraisal that I would want to climb up to a managerial position by the age of 30. Why guess what, I am turning 30 two weeks later. :)

Sounds like a dream come true? Well I am not sure, yet. I do not have the confident in managing a team of 4, yet, what more the manager (younger, bad feedbacks from the industry) who is coming in soon and the 2 levels above him. Not going to be an easy task AT ALL!

We shall see how it goes. Need a lot of self-managing starting from NOW.

谈何容易

要赤裸裸地面对一个陌生却希望能帮助自己的人，用自己过往的快乐与伤悲来填满她需要对你的了解，同时还必须对这些不堪回首的往事打分，谈何容易。

关心我的话就别问太多以上的内容，用平时少用的心来包容我暂时的情绪就好了。

I don't want to die

I realised that I have not been myself lately, with extra low self esteem and confidence leading to overwhelming negative thoughts including suicidal ones, I have to brave myself to seek help from the expert. And hence, I have made an appointment with the psychological counsellor today, for help. Please give me your love and support, tell me that I will be fine and renewed  by the end of the sessions.

Because I really don't want to die just like that.

Cheers

30岁前后之Check List

2013我check了。。。
1。Kia Rio 车子（应该快要实现了！）   - Checked!
2。微波炉（为了方便把晚餐热一热）
3。空气负离子兼洁净器   - Checked!
4。硬壳行李箱   - Checked!
5。Crumpler斜背包
6。G-shock 手表/Tissot腕表   - Checked!
7。Private Trainer课程
8。明年5月的Melbourne+Adelaide 10天游！！！
9。Galaxy S4 LTE 或 iPhone5s
10。一双好的记忆型枕头   - Checked!

2014我得努力的。。。
1. 去年未达成的Crumpler斜背包
2. 去年未达成的PT课程
3. 去年未达成的iPhone6
4. 去年未达成的明年5或6月Melbourne+Adelaide 10日游/冬季旅行
5. 去年未达成的微波炉一台
6. 进修课程（沟通技巧/英语/领导/等）
7. 多功能运动鞋一双
8. 心灵与身体的排毒疗程/课程
9. 好的工作用腰带一条 
10. 搬新房子？

归

当了11年的浪子，是时候回来当孝子了吗？

一个不敢想不敢问不敢面对的问题，因为我不舍。

新家

亲爱的，住进了新家一定要乖哦，不要再用牙齿来和新主人打招呼了！新主人也同意说你很八婆，什么都要看什么都要管，这就是我们的toffee啊对不？

女主人说这个周六会带你到ohana去玩，到时候见咯我们！希望你还记得我这个寄养人吧！

谢谢Kylie领养了Toffee。：）

Dear Toffee

Thank you for coming into my life. I have never regretted picking you up from the campus, brought you back home with me, treated you at the vet which has made you healthier and stronger, and let you go thru the first surgery of your life which will definitely make you live longer and happier. 

Three months seemed so long to measure yet so fast to live by. We have been thru pretty much and yes you have made me so angry before, so angry that I might have gone out of my mind in doing what I should not. I am very truly sorry to have harmed or hurt you in anyway, I did not mean it. 

Toffee my dear, if you knew how to read, I hope for your understanding that the decision of letting you go was hundred times tougher than keeping you in. You certainly deserve a bigger, safer place to live your life, not in this little room of mine. If I had an extra room or own a place, I would not have cried so many times looking at your empty cage and photos we shared. 

Don't worry my dear, rest assured that your future mastergirl will love you as much or even more than I do. You will be best with her. I am going to pay you visits once a while, just to make sure you are alright. If not, you come back to me and stay with me until we both grow old. I promise you!

My little baby girl, thank you again for the heart warming three months we have spent together. I have seen you grown up so much, from a tiny little fur ball to the you now I see. Our photos and memories will forever be kept safe with me. I wish you well with your new family, and we will meet again soon!

Loving you,

Masterboy

19 Jan 2014

想瘦

2014年。

我真的很想瘦下来，不必太多线条或是多少块肌，只要腰围和肚子不凸出，赘肉不摇晃就好了。

到底需要怎么样的毅力和动力才会让自己铁下心来瘦下去啊？难道非受创不可？

Hmmm....