离家出走

 "如果是未婚男女梦见自己离家出走，那就表示做梦人的恋爱过程将会有挫折发生，并且很有可能无法挽回，必须多加注意。"

I feel I'm ready should anything happens. It is not the end of the world. 

十一二九

I'm in a tricky situation where, part of me wants to be involved as much as I can in the project he calls home, like at least that's what I feel I should be doing as a partner? Yet the dark part of me has this fear for over expressing my view, for he is a man with ego and a little defensive when it comes to external opinions?

It first occurred month back when we were shopping around for household items, basically stuffs to fit a new home from nothingness, i.e. lights, fans, toilet & kitchen stuffs, you name it. I don't believe what I did was meant to cause any discomfort, but he then confronted to me saying that I had been very disagreeable on what he had in mind, what he liked, and what he chose. I was merely like telling him my ideas which was not essential at all, not my house to fit anyway. 

And then it occurred again today, which I regretted a lot for heading over to his new place under renovation. Never have I thought little comments like ohhh maybe the lights can be better here would cause him turning on his defensive fence - I didn't acknowledge a lot of things he wants to do. 

I'm totally stunned, though not surprised. I have been extra careful on what I say that could potentially go against his view, guess I've let my mouth loose by accident? But no, I don't think that's true this time. My cautiousness has been like a shield, on guard most of the time. 

So what have I done wrong this time? Did I not give him enough acknowledgements? I don't think so, I like most of his idea (or at least I don't/won't oppose them), knowing him and his logic of putting each and every colors and themes under one roof. Basically putting what he wears to how he decorate his living environment. Contrast of colors and textures and features and everything else. 

Whereas me? I like it clean, simple, as minimal as possible. That is definitely something drawing us apart. 

Anyway, it is your house, not mine. You own it so you can do whatever with it as you want, I'm merely a partner who's trying to help whenever required. I don't have the power to oppose or to disagree on anything which are not mine. If you feel all these are too much for you, you've no idea how much I've been holding. :)

I ain't superman. I feel the same exhaustion too, of being too good in accommodating. But then again, something that I've learned from the past relationship is not to compare/measure mutual sacrifices. But then fact is still fact, I'm still a good accommodator, if not great. I can tolerant many things, except for cheating and being unreasonable. And that is why I've been telling off by you for

How do I feel about this relationship? 

I don't have the right answer, even though we've hold hands for slightly over a year. Probably I do expect a lil bit more of excitement and events to anticipate like how it should be in a relationship? Probably I'm not that ready to settle down for a staple lifestyle? Probably I'd prefer a bit more similarities in interest and lifestyle? Also probably a leader instead of a follower?